So where is God?  

From a destroyed collection, orig. pastel on paper  50 x 70 cm 1997

Motivation and background

The artworks in this archive were never made to be published, they are  the results of a very personal process that started in 1992 to transform personal struggles and feelings from my childhood into images. 

The driving force behind publishing this archive and creating this website is explained as follows:

When a state refuses to grant restorative and reparative justice for those many citizens who paid with everything they had—losing their parents, children, family, home, childhood, identity, and future—with a government that actively concealed these life stories, while blaming the victims for the complex consequences of state -sanctioned violence and neglect -making that reality visible becomes an act of absolute necessity.

My  experience with state sanctioned violence, neglect and erasure in childhood  is similar to the ten thousands of other  children that were forced into the youth care system. This state  system is often  still  very oppressive and violent today,  creating the discarded lives of tomorrow. 

Despite official  governmental apologies in 2019 following  the Dutch  De Winter Committee, investigating violence in the youth care system whose report was euphemistically entitled "Insufficiently protected",   the Dutch government still shows deep contempt for the victims of their actions. The truth is, we were never protected by the government.

Unseen

Like many care leavers experienced, the Dutch system actively protected the abusers and further complicated my life,: 

• In 1995, The Dutch state honored the foster mother who abused three foster children with a State Medal in the Order of Orange Nassau (Digibron 14-09-1995, Goud Woudenberg).
• The official criminal complaint filed by my brother and me in 1996 (within the legal term) against the foster parents  was  dismissed by the Public Prosecutor as sepot 41 (insufficient grounds to investigate). The complaint included  war -techniques  by the foster father against his foster children from the Dutch -Indonesian war of 1949, such  as described in " De brandende Kampongs van Generaal Spoor" by Rémy Limpach, 2016) 
• Although tested for the highest academic track (VWO) in primary school, the foster parents deliberately obstructed my chances for education by sending me to a lower - tier school. In later life the official rules blocked my chances  to study in the Netherlands 
• Five years after leaving the system, in 1986, I was confronted with  antisemitic rhetoric  and   Nazi based methods  by the Dutch police, a direct consequence of a life in  the youth care system, resulting in complex identity problems 
• I have been actively rejected by  all  Dutch mental health care organizations  for almost my entire life.   The mental health care system  acted as an extension of  the government policy of oppression and  marginalization. Organizations for support such as  MIND and Slachtofferhulp choose the side of the government  
• Rejectedt from all diversity and inclusion organizations in the Netherlands because an LGBTQ+- identity should be 'born this way'. A lifelong, persistent blueprint from (state) imposed  issues is 'invalid'. 
• Like many thousands, we never received any reparative justice (support, education, participation, rehabilitation or protection)  after state care.  This creates a frozen life  reality- a life that never really starts. 

This archive is a testimony of what I personally experienced as a continuous, lifelong war in "peacetime" in the Netherlands. The human rights violations (ECHR 3 and8) by the Dutch state from 1964 to 1981 and 1986 have been included in the newsletter of the EG (European Group of Deviance and Social Control) .

A formal petition to the European Union regarding the human rights violations by the Dutch state under case number 0754/2026 was dismissed by the European Union in 2026. 

Recognition and Apologies

Contrarily, formal recognition about the institutional violence was given  by independent official bodies in the Netherlands.

• Schadefonds Geweldsmisdrijven  (Dutch government injury Compensation Fund)  The  violence in youth care 1964-1981 was recognized in category 6 - most severe violence) - in 2020, after 39 years. The 1986 police sexual violence  was also recognized in the  category of most severe violence (category 6 of Schadefonds) in 2026 , after 4O years.  These two separate cases of governmental violence however were merged to avoid financial compensation, support and rehabilitation. The ECHR art 3 violations are thus covered up again. 
• Official personal apologies were received from Pleegzorg Nederland (Dutch Foster Care) and the Raad voor de Kinderbescherming (Child Protection Council), in 2018 and 2019 published in " Gepleegd", written under the pseudonym Jasper Heijting 

About the Archive 

The approximately 600 artworks in this archive span a period of six years (2019-2025) and are the saved part of a much larger collection. Early art  has been destroyed in 2002 and later in 2018, comprising hundreds of works including many  3D objects.

In addition to the work in the archive, 13 original photographs show a lived reality.

This archive coexists alongside the autobiographical books Gepleegd and Hoe word ik Tim? written under the pseudonym Jasper Heijting, see in the section Published Books on this page with a download link to the book Gepleegd.

So this is freedom?  Pastel 50 x65 cm from Identity restoration studio 2023

Content Warning

This archive contains raw spontaneous depictions of institutional violence and trauma, that some people may find disturbing.

archive #1      Institutional violence,youth /  foster care  1-45

archive #2     Institutional violence, foster care  46-98

archive #3     Police violence and article 3 ECHR [1986]  99-120 

 archive #4    Institutional violence, youth / foster care 121-162

 archive #5    Trauma Art and the Body   163-185

 archive #6    Institutional violence, youth and foster care  186-232

 archive #7    Institutional violence in foster care: Gender Based Violence  233-280

archive #8    Institutional betrayal and violence in foster care 281-325

archive #9    Trauma art about youth care and violence in foster care  326-377

archive #10  Trauma art about violence in foster care  378-428

archive #11  Trauma art 1992-1997   (Portraits, early /  Residential) 429-486

archive #12  (Project) Photographs and artwork: "Stigma by Design: The Enduring Pulse of the State 487-538

archive #13  Trauma art on institutional violence 541- 617

PUBLISHED  ZINES

Published books by Jimmy Groen written under the pseudonym

'Jasper Heijting'

Gepleegd   [English title: Committed]  Gepleegd, published by  Tobi Vroegh Amsterdam

Editors: Ilona Barsony, Claire Hülsenbeck, Anouk de Jong, Rohan Karbet 

Executive Summary 

Jasper Heijting's 2020 ego document, Gepleegd,  ["Committed"] offers a candid, firsthand account of enduring long-term abuse  and torture within the Dutch foster care system. This autobiography highlights the author's struggle with extreme trauma,  imposed gender issues  and fragmentation of the mind, written from the child perspective.  The book provides crucial context for understanding Jimmy's trauma art archive.

Language: Dutch

Available in the libraries of the Netherlands and Flanders and bookstores.

2020  EAN   9789078761785

Read the first revised chapter of this book  in English

A first raw translation in English of the book Gepleegd (Committed)  was created by AI (€96,-); this translation is not perfect but offers a profound insight in the basic story of the archive. It is free available on terms of CC BY-NC-ND (2026)

Download the full autobiographical book Committed in PDF as a first raw translation in English language by AI

Hoe word ik Tim? 

Executive Summary 
Hoe word ik Tim? ("How Do I Become Tim?") is the second volume of Jasper Heijting’s ego-documentary series. It traces the lifelong confusion of state-sanctioned identity destruction and imposed attachment issues, and details the psychological phenomenon of a fragmented inner world. In 1998 Jimmy was officially labeled with a 'dissociative identity disorder (DID,) but never received any mental health care or support.

The book describes the desperate search to become a boy, after foster care,  the exclusion from society and mental health care, the problems with time, age and belonging, and finally the construction of  a tangible Realm of Boys to live in.

Most importantly, this volume documents the exact historical turning point where the author begins to use raw visual art  as his sole mechanism for survival when all societal, medical, and legal institutions utterly fail him. The story itself is a metaphor for a fragmented identity.

Language: Dutch. Image cover: Jo Coort

Available in the library of Flanders (Belgium) and bookstores.

2021   EAN  9789464068153