So where is God?  

From a destroyed collection, orig. pastel on paper  50 x 70 cm 1997

"Insufficiently protected"  is the title of the De Winter Report about violence in the Dutch youth care system from 2019 .This is a sickening lie; we were never protected, not for a single second."

Motivation and background 

The artworks in this archive were never made to be published, they are  the results of a very personal process that started in 1992 to transform personal struggles and feelings into images. Other collections of work created between 1992 and 2018 are almost entirely destroyed.

The driving force behind publishing this archive is simple: when a state has no restorative and reparative justice for citizens who paid with everything they had—losing their parents, children, family, home, childhood, identity, and future—making that reality visible becomes an act of absolute necessity. The Netherlands  refused any reparative justice, support and mental health care after severe human rights violations. In my case, the Dutch system actively protected the abusers and further complicated my life:

• The Dutch state honored the foster mother who severely abused three foster children (well-known by youth care organizations) with a State Medal in the Order of Orange Nassau (Digibron 14-09-1995, Goud Woudenberg).

• The official criminal complaint filed by my brother and me in 1996 (within the term) against the foster parents about almost fourteen years of systematic abuse, known to and encouraged by the youth care organizations was  dismissed by the Public Prosecutor as sepot 41 (too little to investigate). 

• In 1986, six years after my escape from foster care, ithe police of Zwolle used nazi language and extreme (sexual ) violence to express their deep contempt  for adults that were forced to grow up in the youth care system and were left with the most possible complex issues in identity. The Dutch police told me that  "Foster children are the garbage of society we have to clean up".

This archive is a testimony of what I personally experienced as a war in peacetime in the Netherlands. The human rights violations have been included in the newsletter of the EG (European Group of Deviance and social control) .

A formal petition to the European Union regarding the violation of ECHR articles 3 and 8 by the Dutch state under case number 0754/2026 was dismissed by the European Union. The Netherlands is  authorized to implement its own policies against those that endured Institutional betrayal.

Recognition and Apologies

Contrarily, formal recognition was given  by independent official bodies in the Netherlands.

• Schadefonds Geweldsmisdrijven  (Violence Compensation Fund )  recognised Jimmy in  the highest category (6) about  violence  in the youth care system-  in 2021; and again in 2026 because of  extreme police violence in 1986 in the same category.

• Official personal apologies from Pleegzorg Nederland (Dutch Foster Care) and the Raad voor de Kinderbescherming (Child Protection Council), published in " Gepleegd", written under pseudonym Jasper Heijting 

About the Archive 

The approximately 600 artworks in this archive span a period of six years (2019-2025). In addition to the work, 13 original photographs show a lived reality. The random order of production year and depiction is metaphorical for the trauma itself—a complex trauma has no structure at all. 

The use of iconic colors and symbols reflects gender, names, untold stories, and fragmented feelings. This visual archive coexists alongside the autobiographical books Gepleegd and Hoe word ik Tim? written under the pseudonym Jasper Heijting, see in the section Published Books on this page.

Content Warning

This archive contains raw and  heavy depictions of institutional violence and trauma, that some people may find disturbing.

archive #1      Institutional violence,youth /  foster care  1-45

archive #2     Institutional violence, foster care  46-98

archive #3     Police violence and article 3 ECHR [1986]  99-120 

 archive #4    Institutional violence, youth / foster care 121-162

 archive #5    Trauma Art and the Body   163-185

 archive #6    Institutional violence, youth and foster care  186-232

 archive #7    Institutional violence in foster care: Gender Based Violence  233-280

archive #8    Institutional betrayal and violence in foster care 281-325

archive #9    Trauma art about youth care and violence in foster care  326-377

archive #10  Trauma art about violence in foster care  378-428

archive #11  Trauma art 1992-1997   (Portraits, early /  Residential) 429-486

archive #12  (Project) Photographs and artwork: "Stigma by Design: The Enduring Pulse of the State 487-538

archive #13  Trauma art on institutional violence 541- 617

Related pages

Artwork, created in collaboration with co- identities Tim and Alex. 

Tim draws back   Work from Tim  about peer - only / peer- oriented attachment in a residential children's home causing a peer oriented  blueprint for life.

They are everywhere but nobody knows who they are about marginalized, erased and voiceless identities by Tim and Alex

PUBLISHED  ZINES

Published books under the pseudonym

'Jasper Heijting'

Gepleegd   [English: Committed]  Gepleegd, published by  Tobi Vroegh Amsterdam

Editors: Ilona Barsony, Claire Hülsenbeck, Anouk de Jong, Rohan Karbet 

Executive Summary 

Jasper Heijting's 2020 book, Gepleegd,  ["Committed"] offers a candid, firsthand account of enduring severe, long-term abuse  and torture within the Dutch foster care system. This autobiography highlights the author's struggle with extreme trauma,  imposed gender issues  and fragmentation of the mind, written from the child perspective.  The book provides crucial context for understanding Jimmy's trauma art archive.

Language: Dutch

Available in the libraries of the Netherlands and Flanders and bookstores.

2020  EAN   9789078761785

Read the first revised chapter of this book  in English

A first raw translation in English of the book Gepleegd (Committed)  was created by AI (€96,-); this translation is not perfect but offers a profound insight in the basic story of the archive.

Download the full autobiographical book Committed in PDF as a first  raw translation in English language  by AI

Hoe word ik Tim? 

Executive Summary 
Hoe word ik Tim? ("How Do I Become Tim?") is the second volume of Jasper Heijting’s ego-documentary series. It traces the lifelong confusion of state-sanctioned identity destruction and attachment issues, and details the psychological phenomenon of a fragmented inner world (also  labeled as a dissociative identity disorder).

The book describes with dialogues the desperate search for the lost gender of birth, the exclusion from society, the problems with time, age and belonging, and finally the construction of  a Realms of Boys to live in.

Most importantly, this volume documents the exact historical turning point where the author begins to use raw visual art  as his sole mechanism for survival when all societal, medical, and legal institutions utterly fail him. The story itself is a metaphor for a fragmented identity.

Language: Dutch. Image cover: Jo Coort

Available in the library of Flanders and bookstores.

2021   EAN  9789464068153