So where is God?  

From a destroyed collection, orig. pastel on paper  50 x 70 cm 1997

Motivation and background

The artworks in this archive were never made to be published, they are  the results of a very personal process that started in 1992 to transform personal struggles and feelings into images.  The driving force behind publishing this archive is simple: when a state has no restorative and reparative justice for those many citizens who paid with everything they had—losing their parents, children, family, home, childhood, identity, and future—making that reality visible becomes an act of absolute necessity. 

Unseen

In my case, the Dutch system actively protected the abusers and further complicated my life:

• The Dutch state honored the foster mother who severely abused  me and two other foster children (which was all well-known by the  youth care organizations) with a State Medal in the Order of Orange Nassau (Digibron 14-09-1995, Goud Woudenberg).
• The official criminal complaint filed by my brother and me in 1996 (within the term) against the foster parents about almost fourteen years of systematic abuse and torture with lasting injury  was  dismissed by the Public Prosecutor as sepot 41 (too little to investigate)
• Five years after leaving state care,  I was confronterend with  nazi lanf antisemitic rhetoric  and  (sexual ) violence by the Dutch police to express their deep contempt  for adults that were forced to grow up in the youth care system and were left with the most difficult and complex issues in attachment, gender and identity.
• Denied oaccess to mental health care for almost my entire life because the issues after state care are unknown, too complex or impossible to be treated 
•  Rejected with deep contempt by all diversity and inclusion organizations in the Netherlands for decades due to  an unknown gender and "invalid identity"
• There has never been any reparative justice or rehabilitation for victims of the Dutch youth care system. 

This archive is a testimony of what I personally experienced as a continuous war in peacetime in the Netherlands. The human rights violations (ECHR 3 and8) have been included in the newsletter of the EG (European Group of Deviance and Social Control) .

A formal petition to the European Union regarding the human rights violations by the Dutch state under case number 0754/2026 was dismissed by the European Union. 

Recognition and Apologies

Contrarily, formal recognition was given  by independent official bodies in the Netherlands.

• Schadefonds Geweldsmisdrijven  (Dutch government injury Compensation Fund)  Both the 17 years of state sanctioned violence in youth care and  the 1986 police violence were recognised in the  category of most severe violence (category 6) in 2021 and 2026 
• Official personal apologies were received from Pleegzorg Nederland (Dutch Foster Care) and the Raad voor de Kinderbescherming (Child Protection Council), in 2018 and 2019 published in " Gepleegd", written under pseudonym Jasper Heijting 

About the Archive 

The approximately 600 artworks in this archive span a period of six years (2019-2025) and are the saved part of a much larger collection. Parts have been destroyed in 2002 and 2018.

In addition to the work, 13 original photographs show a lived reality. The random order of production year and depiction is metaphorical for the trauma itself—a complex trauma has no structure at all. This visual archive coexists alongside the autobiographical books Gepleegd and Hoe word ik Tim? written under the pseudonym Jasper Heijting, see in the section Published Books on this page with a download link to the book.

Content Warning

This archive contains raw and  heavy depictions of institutional violence and trauma, that some people may find disturbing.

archive #1      Institutional violence,youth /  foster care  1-45

archive #2     Institutional violence, foster care  46-98

archive #3     Police violence and article 3 ECHR [1986]  99-120 

 archive #4    Institutional violence, youth / foster care 121-162

 archive #5    Trauma Art and the Body   163-185

 archive #6    Institutional violence, youth and foster care  186-232

 archive #7    Institutional violence in foster care: Gender Based Violence  233-280

archive #8    Institutional betrayal and violence in foster care 281-325

archive #9    Trauma art about youth care and violence in foster care  326-377

archive #10  Trauma art about violence in foster care  378-428

archive #11  Trauma art 1992-1997   (Portraits, early /  Residential) 429-486

archive #12  (Project) Photographs and artwork: "Stigma by Design: The Enduring Pulse of the State 487-538

archive #13  Trauma art on institutional violence 541- 617

The Realms of Boys 

Born in 1962, at the age of about two  and a half, Jimmy was separated from his mother, siblings and home. and placed in  a toddler group in a  residential children's home. At almost four years old, he was brought in a foster home, designed for military discipline and fundamental christian religion. The foster father, selected from a background in the army, was a 1949-vetetan from the war in Indonesia, who practiced war techniques against his foster children.

From age seven Jimmy was forced in social isolation and confronted with complex imposed gender issues. To endure the 24/7 hostile and violent environment Jimmy started living in his own worlds with his stuffed animals, the cat Bimbam, the horse Pietertje and the pink elephant Dombo. 

At about  eight years old, he became the King of the French- Netherlands, abself created  island that was constantly attacked by enemies and natural disasters. Protected by his  Realms of Boys, where only little boys live and rule, the youth care system failed to permanently  destroy Jimmy's origin, birth gender and creativity. After he fled from foster care at age seventeen , he was left homeless in the streets and forests until he left the system in 1981 without any qualifications and with permanent physical injury from foster care. 

Being creative from 1992, it took until 2021 until he created together with his equal co- identities from the Realms of Boys, Tim, and Alex. From 2025, King Sven and Rainbow Remi joined the creative group. Their creativity  is the ultimate victory over the Dutch State that tried to erase their identity several times. 

PUBLISHED  ZINES

Published books under the pseudonym

'Jasper Heijting'

Gepleegd   [English: Committed]  Gepleegd, published by  Tobi Vroegh Amsterdam

Editors: Ilona Barsony, Claire Hülsenbeck, Anouk de Jong, Rohan Karbet 

Executive Summary 

Jasper Heijting's 2020 book, Gepleegd,  ["Committed"] offers a candid, firsthand account of enduring severe, long-term abuse  and torture within the Dutch foster care system. This autobiography highlights the author's struggle with extreme trauma,  imposed gender issues  and fragmentation of the mind, written from the child perspective.  The book provides crucial context for understanding Jimmy's trauma art archive.

Language: Dutch

Available in the libraries of the Netherlands and Flanders and bookstores.

2020  EAN   9789078761785

Read the first revised chapter of this book  in English

A first raw translation in English of the book Gepleegd (Committed)  was created by AI (€96,-); this translation is not perfect but offers a profound insight in the basic story of the archive.

Download the full autobiographical book Committed in PDF as a first  raw translation in English language  by AI

Hoe word ik Tim? 

Executive Summary 
Hoe word ik Tim? ("How Do I Become Tim?") is the second volume of Jasper Heijting’s ego-documentary series. It traces the lifelong confusion of state-sanctioned identity destruction and imposed attachment issues, and details the psychological phenomenon of a fragmented inner world (labeled as a 'dissociative identity disorder)'.

The book describes with dialogues the desperate search for the lost gender of birth, the exclusion from society, the problems with time, age and belonging, and finally the construction of  a Realms of Boys to live in.

Most importantly, this volume documents the exact historical turning point where the author begins to use raw visual art  as his sole mechanism for survival when all societal, medical, and legal institutions utterly fail him. The story itself is a metaphor for a fragmented identity.

Language: Dutch. Image cover: Jo Coort

Available in the library of Flanders and bookstores.

2021   EAN  9789464068153